Ning-Jia.com

When do we outgrow our family? Should we outgrow our family? At which point do we consciously cut ties? I believe family is the people we’ve spent our time growing up with. And to them, we owe the comfort of staying in touch— just like I’m genuinely interested in knowing whether you’ve turned out well. Maybe there’s still something I can do to improve your situation. Maybe not. It’s sad to realize that Arthur Fleck’s mother was actually deranged, that Thomas Wayne didn’t have an affair with her, and that it was all a story she cooked up in her head. Yes, there are real stories like that too. Unfortunately, the mind conjures up plenty of fantasies it wants to live in. We want to believe the poor deserve better; we want to believe there’s more the rich can do. But market forces remain the most sustainable way of delivering what’s “deserved.” The more we intervene in systems we don’t fully understand—or lack the perseverance to see through—the more damage we’re likely to cause in the long...

People ask the same questions over and over again despite us already giving an answer, because the answer we gave isn’t what they are looking for. So how do we combat this kind of unawareness? Maybe we should give the answer they want first, just to hook them in—so they feel their question was heard—and then caveat it with what we actually mean. Is that a form of deception? Manipulation? No. It’s influence, because we do want the best for that person. Remember: intention matters most. May all beings be happy.

Year-ends are such a tussle. Battling demotivation, overload, human tensions, etc. just wears me down. On one hand, I don’t want to procrastinate, so I keep pushing tasks out one at a time just to get things done. On the other hand, if I don’t think things through sufficiently—if I don’t give them time for consideration and for new information to surface—I’m not making the best decisions. But how does one balance procrastination versus deliberate consideration? Tough.

From my Ah Gong, stories of joyfulness, strength, and being burdenless. From my Amah, recovery, perseverance, straightforwardness, adaptation, multi-talentedness, being multi-lingual, and always making ends meet despite having so many children. From my 公公, the ability to take it all in and hold it together. That one rare moment of love—buying fireworks for me and playing with me. The stories of him never saying no to money for books. The frustration when kids get distracted from their studies. Education is key to changing one’s life, and therefore the whole generation. From my 婆婆, stories of her placing importance on literacy, and of the respect she garnered in holding the house together. From my father, generosity, hard-working nature, education, adaptation, agency, confidence. From my mother, kindness, agency too, fun and adventures, and a great, enduring social life. From my brother, truth, principle, polymathic talents, and focus. And most of all, my wife, softness. Special mention...

I'm tired of people playing games, being too smart for their own good—invoking 'privacy concerns' one minute, then pushing to overshare the moment I stop caring. Come on guys.. I understand human psychology better than many. There is an innate need to share the truth; suppressing that need hurts you more than it affects anyone else. Personally, I am very comfortable knowing only what is necessary. I’m curious, sure, but only about things that matter. If new information won't change my actions, I’d rather not have it. So go ahead, use privacy as a shield to your own detriment. I won't be asking again.

Just attended an art festival called "What The Elders Left Us." The one event I managed to catch was the "Talk and Staged Readings: Artist Lee Joo For," and boy, was I in for a treat. I chuckled a lot, and my aunt was puzzled as to why I chuckled so much. I told her that, of all the events I could have attended at this art festival, it was fated that this one about a man who was quite bold and sexual in his expressions of theatre and art was the one I attended. Even the curator, AT, confessed that she couldn't quite decide how she felt about Lee Joo For. But to me, it was clear—this was a man larger than life. One of his own family members who remembered his stories admitted she knew she couldn't believe half the things her uncle said. His imagination was wild, like the horses he drew. He also enjoyed drawing bulls and women—things he was deeply drawn to. What a man. What a life. What an impact he has made.

Met someone two days ago at a conference — a highly respected figure from the consulting industry — and we had a great conversation about culture, M&As, org structure, and overall corporate strategy. One conclusion that PL mentioned, which I want to remind myself of from now on, is this: centralisation is only appropriate for brand and tech. Everything else can be democratised. However, maintaining a single source of truth and a unified brand is crucial — information must be as real-time and accessible as possible to support good decision-making, and the brand must stay aligned with the organisation’s initiatives. Functions like HR, legal, and admin, on the other hand, can be more decentralised, autonomous, and flexible. Of course, there are other arguments, but I’ll leave it here for now. Another conversation — this one with someone from India (I can’t recall who at the moment, and I really should get back to actual work instead of just penning my thoughts) — reminded me that fami...

Being a leader means pissing a bunch of people off in the hope that we win as a team. If we win, it’s worth it — and everyone might thank us (or think it was all them anyway). If we lose, it’s all our fault. Not easy. “A leader sees more than others see, sees farther than others see, and sees before others see.” ~ John C. Maxwell

Factors Term Description L + G Passion Ignited flow: Love meets mastery, pure electric energy. L + N Mission Soul-driven crusade: Heart + world, unstoppable fire. L + P Joy Heist Guilty pleasure pay: Thrill cash, but shallow waters. G + N Raw Duty Service utility: Skill for good, quiet and unrewarded. G + P Profession Competent hustle: Talent cashed in, reliable grind. N + P Vocation Noble livelihood: World-healing income, duty fulfilled. L + G + N (missing P) Poor Rapturous impact without a dime—blissfully broke. L + G + P (missing N) Purposeless Cozy skills and coin, but echoing void of meaning. L + N + P (missing G) Uselessness Earned passion for change, fumbled by inexperience. G + N + P (missing L) Emptiness Polished payoff for progress, but soul-starved routine. L + G + N + P Ikigai Total alignment: Alive, adept, essential, and enriched.

Don't rush it. In life, many things deserve a second thought. No, we're not going to miss out. No, that other person isn't thinking about us right now. Take our time. Think it through. What was I about to do? What should I actually do? Why am I doing this? What about that? It isn't analysis paralysis if it's just a night's sleep. Sometimes, that's all we need.